My few dates with my female classmates didn't get very far, sexually. I still wasn't getting much action from the girls, but I considered myself perfectly normally heterosexual. Friday and Saturday nights Jake would drive us around and we knew where to get the best pizza, or where the local people our age, some of whom did not go away to college, hung out. Unlike the freshmen from far and wide, we knew the surrounding towns like the back of our hand. If there was any social disadvantage at school to being a commuter, it was outweighed by our vast knowledge of the area. Jake's parents made a deal with him that the money they saved on room and board would fund a car of his own. So I had my best friend around when I was at the university, and also when I was home. In fact, "mom's cooking and laundry service" was kind of a perk!Īnd Jake did the same thing - stayed home and commuted to the campus. It was a good school, and the tuition was pretty steep, and there were many "day students" like myself, so I didn't feel bad about my situation. The campus was only 30 miles from my house, and my parents couldn't afford to pay high tuition and room and board. I think I would have met more female classmates and had a more active social life if I had lived on campus, but I was a commuter. I told you I was a virgin when I went to college. We had bodies and dicks of all shapes and sizes, but I took little notice most of the time. There's a lot of porn with scenes of guys checking each other out in the gym showers, but I don't remember any of that. I dated girls normally in high school when I could, and had no sexual interest in other guys.
I'd known since elementary school that I am color-blind, and that made it challenging for me to read signs and signals.
I did suffer one particular humiliation - I repeatedly failed the state driver's license tests. Now that I'm almost 25 years old I have learned that really crippling social anxiety is not all that uncommon among teenagers, and that lots of kids are lonely in high school but don't show it. He had the best video system and the most welcoming parents. Saturday nights we'd watch movies at Jake's house. I had two or three good male friends, and one girl who treated me like a brother or something, and we sometimes played tennis and studied together. That doesn't mean I was miserable all the time.
It seemed like making friends required code words or secret handshakes or something, and I'd never been let in on the secrets. I had no idea why some male and female classmates were so widely popular while I had a hard time making any friends at all. In fact, I had very few dates at all in high school because I was so shy. I didn't lose my virginity until I was in college.